Joy

So many Autistics and Adhd folk are ostracised and have Interpersonal Trauma that leads to isolation.

The Pathological Paradigm is at the root of this. Minority Stress (M Botha) explores this in depth as does Nick Walker (neuroqueer).

I am hugely influenced by people around me, I am Hyper-Empathic, but also have Compersion (I get joy from seeing others' joy).

In fact as an Alexithymic, my sense of joy is strongly linked to being with Others, less about Me and more about them. I feel their Joy.

Therefore, it may be extremely hard for someone who experiences Compersion (they may not even realise it's a thing) and is in an Isolated, complex position, depressed and anxious, to find Joy.

Because for those who experience Compersion, Joy is found outside of us.

Asking clients 'what is good and happy about being you' may be a really confusing concept. They may feel lacking, at not being able to answer.

Plus so many narratives say 'you cant find joy outside of you, it must come from within'.

This feels like Ableist bullsh#t.

So the stuckness being isolated with no access to joy is damaging.

I know this is obvious, but I really do believe that it is ridiculously harmful to suggest that self care will help someone who has Interpersonal Trauma.

Healing is a relational thing you see. Nervous system to nervous system healing.

Obviously the helpful Healing Relationship should be with those who are Authentic and kind. Not ars#holes.

And when the world has treated you as a disorder, or you've felt lacking, and when you struggle but don't know why, then the risk in getting out there and mixing with lovely people, can just seem too much. Too scary, too hopeless.

This is why we all have so much work to do. We need to make society a nicer, kinder, accessible place.

We can start this, continue this, one person at a time, sharing about the importance of being NeuroDivergent affirming and fighting oppression of all kinds. Helping people understand other people.

(Original Blog posted on 21st December 2024 on NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook Page)