I'm having to Mask. Sometimes I have to and it's not a choice. Why? Because my Autistic brain knows that my interactions, and being me, can't be the priority. I cannot prioritise myself right now. Today. Because I have some big stuff going on. I can Mask because I have the privilege of: The ability to regulate. The cognitive ability to understand that I can't be number 1 today. The deep self love that knows I am worthy even if I Mask. The choice to Mask (today). I have those

I did have a community group set up. Then cancelled it. And I'm going with instinct, in that the time is not right. Not right now. I want this, I really want this, but I can't fully attach and until I can, I'm not doing it. I've shared here before that I have blocks about it and I'm not asking for advice so please do not give any. This isn't about confidence or self esteem. I'm sharing so folk can embrace their own zig zag way of doing things. Because what I have, dear reader

I'm going with the flow again. Just because the nuances about what happened with Uta Frith being showcased first, by Naomi Fisher, are still irritating me. And I'm procrastinating today so am on Facebook instead, avoiding some chores, and a bit psychologically stuck, in a transition glitch. So I'm typing this, I'll over analyse it, edit 50 times, before I press 'post' knowing I should put my phone down and do something more useful. Breakfast and cup of tea is now cold beside

It is ok for me to admit that I had always intellectualised my emotions and got flooded by emotions. I have many stories to tell about being flooded. Those were my 2 states. Flooding and also intellectualising. My emotions were huge and I'd be in a huge dysregulated state. Then after I'd intellectualise them. But emotions were never felt and never processed. Emotions never got to be felt. Flooding was not feeling them and not processing them. Flooding was in itself a swamping

Today I am ill, migraine, day cancelled. Being Autistic and Adhd is for me, a lot of guesswork. I can't always read my body cues and often I feel tired and grumpy without realising I'm ill. I can't tend to whatever is wrong, if I can't identify it. I take medication for Migraines, preventative meds, every day. I have had migraines my whole life but just accepted them. I never knew Migraine meds were a thing. The first day I took them, about 3 years ago, I was shocked at how l

During my Autism assessment in 2022 I genuinely didn't think I had any special interests. Then I realised I had spent my entire life fascinated by people: Volunteering with a Special Needs Respite charity aged 16. 10 year Career in Human Resources. 20+ year Career in varying people support roles: A&E, Homelessness, Careers Advice, School/Student Welfare, Family Work. Attempting to study Counselling/Psychology age 28, 32, 42 and 45 (at last). 9 year Career as a Counsellor and

Does this ever really happen to those who are not Adhd? Wednesday I received an email asking if I'd have a conversation on Radio about Adhd. I said yes. Oxfordshire Greatest Hits. They wanted me to talk that afternoon but I offered a small gap I had Thursday. Thursday the interviewer asked me 1 question. "Why do you think that women over 25 are increasingly being diagnosed Adhd". I hadn't known what the interviewer would ask/want but in true Adhd adrenalin fuelled style I waf

Originally published 20th January 2026 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog Facebook Page. About to jump onto and co facilitate this month's Creative Counsellors Membership Hub Adhd Autistic Therapist group. Our subject is Transitions. And all the tricks and strategies in the world, take 2nd stage to a supportive partner who knows my quirks, and gently ushers me along, lilipadding, with my dinner cooked, a flask of hot tea ready, a bottle of squash prepared, and a smile, nu

Originally published 20th December 2025 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog Facebook Page. I just had a mini meltdown purely because something I really wanted, happened, but unexpectedly. It took me by surprise. This good thing. The day didn't look like it was meant to. It changed things for that moment. I don't know how else to explain it but I know others like me 'get it'. Trying to vocalise my distress, whilst knowing I look unhinged, whilst knowing it could be interprete

Originally published 19th December 2025 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog Facebook Page. On my main page I've shared some exciting ventures coming up in 2026. And if I were attending these as a newbie, I would be petrified. Delivering these is scary but let me tell you a secret. Running them is easier for me than attending them. Running them means I get to plan details. I get to figure data, timing, content. And the best bit of all is I get to have a role. Facilitating it

Originally posted 17th May 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page I'm not. I'm made for big hearts and big morals and big feels. The corporate world costs me dearly. It HAS cost me dearly. It took away my authenticity, it created Imposter Syndrome. I WAS an Imposter. Drop the syndrome bit. I literally was an Imposter trying to do things the rigid, stifled, 'not-always-right', 'meant-to be-right'' way. Rules and safeguarding stuff often prevents disclosure. It

Originally posted 11th June 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page I think a key feature of Autistic/Adhd drive is natural motivation. I ask lots of questions because knowing 'why' is the key to me being motivated and alert (thank you Dopamine receptors aka Brain science stuff). Knowing why means I understand. If I understand and if something aligns with me, I can do it. I can do things when I understand and when the thing has purpose. Linked to this is the r

Originally posted 11th June 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page What Privileges (and I mean headstarts/ advantages) do you have? Do you know? Some of mine are below. I do not take them for granted. Life would be harder if I didn't have them. A garden. My own private home. Walking with ease. Working pattern that suits me (also a necessity but also privilege). Not actively having to care for someone all the time. I'm white. Ability to self care. Accessible E

Originally posted 5th July 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page I said goodbye today to a Client. They were full of praise for me. My ego loved that feeling. And my Imposter Syndrome was grateful for an hour off duty. The difference between that blessed feeling of glory, and the reality of my awful Executive Function skills is HUGE. Below is a genuine account of how abysmal and embarrassing it 'could' be if I wasn't so self aware and transparent with prospe

Originally posted 18th July 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page I'm venting. When will Schools understand that rules STOP some children learning. The Schools that are meant to create learning, have rules that stop learning. Some Schools insist that arbitrary rules must be followed to help children fit in and learn. Our ND Brains are different. Rules we believe in and understand are helpful. Rules need to have a real, genuine, purpose driven, thought throug

Originally posted 22nd July 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page Long one. Be warned . I take Adhd meds. A very low dose of speed. I only had meds for today and tomorrow. My plan was to collect a script Monday which should be ready then. I'm helping renovate my van and remembered I'd not taken meds this morning. Oh how I forget things so much. So off I trotted, took them, gulped them down, and wondered why there were no meds left in the bottle. And then I

Originally posted 11th August 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page I have a National Trust membership. Until today I hadn't realised having this was a helpful strategy to combat Executive Function decision making processes that I find hard. (Executive Function is the name for memory, ordering, processing, prioritising.) I often want to plan to go somewhere but don't know where and decision making is not my forte. Unless it's a hyperfocus in which case it's

Originally posted 27th August 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page I make mistakes a lot. Timing. Forgetting stuff. Misunderstanding stuff. Rushing. Before knowing I was ADHD and Autistic, I made all these mistakes, and did everything I could to get things right. I wasn't anxious. There wasn't anything to be anxious about. I was just wrong. And I had to get stuff right. That's a pretty sh#t constant state to have been in for a very long time (50+ years). To

Originally posted 28th August 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page I delayed finishing my Counselling and PsychoTherapy Training by almost 20 years. Why? Because I thought I wasn't good enough. I thought I had to be super intelligent to be a Counsellor. Somehow, I never realised that Counselling, ultimately, is about love and connection. Appropriate boundaried love. But love all the same. It was never about being academic or clever. As a youngster, I'd flun

Originally posted September 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page I know I have spoken many times (IRL) about Imposter Syndrome and would have put on a huge wager that I've written in depth about it, here. I've just searched and nope, I haven't. So here are my latest thoughts about this phenomenon called Imposter Syndrome and what I think it is. Ps I've shared my blog on a Page for Autistic Researchers and feel a bit of an Imposter because I waffle and swear