Today, I 'almost' sh#t myself in my glorious autistic friend's car. The friend is awesome, not the car, although the car is nice.
An autistic friend is a true friend. I think her words were, 'It's ok if you sh#t yourself in my car'. Thankfully, I managed to wait until I got into my bathroom.
She's a keeper, although I've known that since we met 14 years ago when I recognised her as a kindred spirit. It just took 12 years for us to realise we were both NeuroDivergent. Anyhoodle. I'm now sitting in bed, exhausted from the sh#ts, and am texting another ND friend. We're bonding over our love of oversharing and reflecting on the horror some people experience when sharing our many stories.
And I realised something profound. Oversharing is not the problem.
Y'see, ADHD folk are often criticised for oversharing. We are criticised in many ways and seen as wrong and to blame for our characteristics. I've decided it's not an oversharing issue; it's a 'doesn't like hearing this' issue.
The sharing isn't problematic. I love it, I'm happy, and I have no problem. But the receiver should try to manage their distress when hearing important, open, detailed, often personal information. They need to build resilience.
I suggest some Exposure Therapy. Just spend some time with us ADHD folk. You'll be cured in no time, laughing emoji. Joking aside, we are all just different. Stop putting the blame on us all the time. Who says I am wrong and you are right? Think about it. Think about the social rules and settings, so fixed they demonise and shame and isolate marginalised groups.
We all deserve inclusive spaces because we all live in this world. You do not have the right to be accommodated more than I am. If our needs clash, then 'we' have a problem, and 'we' can figure out the best way of solving it without the NeuroDivergent being the disorder,
deficit or disease.
Rant and sh#ts over.
This is where I normally attach my own subject-relevant photo. I decided not to on this occasion, as you may not wish to see anything sh#t related. Instead, here is a bunch of varying mixed NeuroType Friends with whom I 'much earlier' today enjoyed eye contact and giggles. What is confusing is that the current Assessment criteria for Autism are that you can't make eye contact and can't make friends. Funny that.
Picture description: selfie with me, closest to the camera screen, and 2 friends in garden chairs, 1 standing, smiling, happy, next to a Caravan.
One of these friends also gravitated to me 13 years ago. Two years ago, she helped me complete my ADHD Assessment forms, saying, 'I answer yes to all these questions too'.
We are like magnets we are. Gorgeous, awesome magnets. How lucky we are.
Read about Double Empathy if you want to learn more:
