Rest

First published 2/10/24 on FaceBook NeuroDiversity University Blog page

Rest is not rest if it's filled with self-loathing, shame, self disgust and frustration.

Sometimes my body makes me rest when I don't choose it and I'm learning to give in to it and honour it.

Sometimes what looks like rest is actually an alert that I didn't self care i.e. I ate too much sugary stuff or didn't drink enough or that I'm avoiding something.

So I let myself rest and then afterwards I be my own detective (often alongside someone) and figure what triggered the slump.

But rest is only rest without the shame.

If I have shame then the timer gets reset and ironically, the amount of time needed to rest, lengthens.

The clock only starts when self acceptance and self compassion is in place.

Maybe we need 2 clocks. 1 that shows time spent in self disgust and self hate and another for time spent in self compassion.

Trust me. Rest (*appropriate rest) is only happening when the self negative vibe isn't there.

*appropriate rest for me as an Adhder, is gentle stimulation rather than flat line still. Stillness is not rest. Stillness is understimulation and understimulation is stressful for me.

Note: many people can't have any form of rest. Self care isn't available to all. Self care can require good executive function which ironically, is compromised when we are stressed/burntout.

Over and out.

Close up of part of my desk. In the forefront is a mug of tea, navy, protein shake in the middle in a glass. Messy desk shows banana squidgy, books, aztec print cup with lolly sticks sticking out, index box with index cards, distance view of studio doors, mini trampoline stood up to the left, blue, green bushes outside.