Academic Trauma

Originally Published 15 August 2024 on NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook Page

Today is A-level results Day in the UK.

I watch Neurodivergent young people flunk and struggle in Education. And I was one of them.

I got my degree later in life after 25 years of working in public sector roles, bored, being fab but not really believing in myself.

So it particularly hurts to watch those now, dropping out, getting excluded, failing, trying too hard (succeeding but at a cost to the nervous system) and floundering with masses of ability but not knowing where they fit in.

Good luck today to those with successes. And to next weeks' GCSE results.

Please look after yourself as your nervous system relaxes after years of hyperfocus. Be gentle with yourself.

To those floundering, I see you.

I hope you get support and role models showing you how to be awesome.

My Academic Trauma still comes and bites me in the bum, showing up as Imposter Syndrome and Rejection Sensitivity (RSD).

Much much less now than it used to.

As a Therapist now, even with my Degree, I have to face a reality that I process information in a way that doesn't fit mainstream Academia.

I also see other pages with amazing content, polished profiles, written words and research being carried out tremendously.

And I'm not like that.

And I remind myself, amidst my envy and RSD, that my place here is to connect hearts, to share experience, to find honesty and acceptance, to hold others' shame with tenderness and care. And I do that well. It's my strength.

I also know I have many privileges, as many privileges as I also have barriers.

And I'm grateful and aware of them.

When I do get triggered, I sit with that pain and I figure what's going on for me. I own my reaction and I give myself compassion.

If I feel b&tchy, or jealous, or if I feel insecure, it's nearly always an old hurt coming up. An old hurt at a time I was masking and feeling unconnected to my real self.

As I do that I slowly feel better and am reminded of my unique strengths (above) and I relax.

There is a place for us all and I hope you find your place today and every day.

Hugs.

Snapchat filter of me, white person, with tight curly grey hair, I'm smiling, big clear glasses. I hope to be Supervising and supporting people until I'm really old, looking like this.