Burnout Blues

Burnout is sh£t. We know this. Search for information about Burnout on my other page if you aren't familiar: Jill Holly - NeuroDiversity University.

I often know when Clients are in Burnout because I can experience transference quite easily.

Transference is me feeling what they feel without either of us knowing it's theirs.

I pick up on their impatience and shame at not being ok. I sense self blame and self loathing.

But I feel it as mine.

I get sucked into helping them by 'finding a better, quicker' way to recover. I work harder, I try too much.

I get pulled to fix them which is not what I ever knowingly intend to do. It's not what I should do. Fixing is wrong and doesn't help anyone.

Yet I do it, and I often don't immediately realise I'm doing it.

I start to feel like I'm a sh£t Counsellor and my Imposter Syndrome goes into high alert, creeping through my veins.

But now, I quickly realise what's happening to me, to us, and I step away psychologically, from fixing.

I pause and take a deep breath, grounding myself. I reset. And reflect.

Wanting to 'get better quick' is counter productive.

Yet who wouldn't want to get better quickly.

No one wants to stay in it. It's hell.

Burnout is f#cking sh£t. Double expletive for expression.

Burnout is depressing and Soul crushing.

You can't choose Burnout. It chooses you and it looks different to different people.

I have such compassion with anyone in Burnout trying desperately to get better.

There's literally no way round it. There is just compassion and self care going through it.

But compassion and self care require privilege and support which many don't have.

You also need to know it's Burnout and to know it's a Thing

.

So how the F do you recover?

With help. Practical help. Removal of Pressure. With Community support and compassion.

This is where 'living in a nurturing diverse village community' is needed.

We'd all take it in turns to have our Burnouts and share the load amongst those currently not in Burnout.

Everyone just does a little bit more for however long it's needed.

Everyone who can, is happy to help because it'll be their turn to need help at some point.

Literally just take turns.

There would be key points in life that are harder and at that time, when it's our turn, we'd just announce it, or someone would notice, it'd be sniffed out by others, without shame or drama.

We'd just all accept it and figure what we can each do to help.

We'd all have different things to offer because that's the point of Diversity.

That's the advantage of Diversity.

That's why we need Diversity.

'Here's a hug'.

'Here's a dinner'.

'Here's a dog to hug'.

'Here's a quiet room'.

'Here's a fiver'.

I f#cking crave that Community as standard.

However, what most people have is the opposite.

Pressure to get better.

Pressure to get fixed.

Whilst thinking there's something wrong with you.

If I had the money, I'd create that Community.

If I knew how to do that without money, I'd love to know.

Because my Community are each just about bearing up, only just coping, without much to give.

This stuff is political. It can't not be political.

So we do our Best.

We give Love. We give heart. We give vulnerability. We give truth.

Right now, I'm giving time and care to those that need it because I can.

And I ask them to pay it forward (do the same for others) if and when they can when they are back on their feet.

Lots in my Community are doing this.

If you tune in, if you pay attention, there is a lot of good being done, quietly, kindly and compassionately.

There are lots of good people out there, big hearted people, doing small yet great things.

It's not wasted. Kindness is never wasted.

Small things do make a collective difference.

To those in Burnout. Hang on tight if you can.

There are lots of people that see you and understand. You aren't as alone as you may think/feel.

The community I see out there is real and they really are trying.

To those doing a bit of good - it matters.

Please keep doing it because it really, really matters, even when you think it's not.

Thank you.

Pic description. A canvas painting of mine, pale blue background, red, orange, yellow, pink, blue swirls.