I am writing from my perspective but as an observation about Children, having worked in Education.
Support in school. What does that mean, practical or emotional? Being misunderstood, feeling like an outsider and reacting differently to others is traumatising. It is traumatising when you feel that others will judge you. Judge you for emotions and/or for non-linear thinking, for seeing things differently.
Support is not helpful if those caregivers and educators do not understand the Psychology of NeuroDivergence. You have to get teachers and carers to believe in us and to listen to our experiences. You can't understand me if you haven't listened to me or learnt from other NeuroDivergents. If you do, you can support and modify environments so that dysregulation and confusion don't need to happen rather than merely manage the fallout.
If a supportive environment for all isn't possible (and every possibility explored with out-of-the-box thinking), then support is needed, practically and emotionally. PsychoEducation for others and self to facilitate de-escalation and regulation.
When our environment fits us, we dysregulate much less. When we know the people in our environment genuinely believe in and understand us, the fall-out is more likely to reduce and be less painful.
Shame is also reduced, and autonomy increased, both of which have a huge benefit to our Nervous System Activation. It's a positive upward cycle that benefits everyone.
Last weekend I dysregulated. My brain went blank, I was tired, and my emotions felt big.
I was safe in good company. That was the biggest help. They did nothing. Let's be clear they did not fix me nor rescue me. They did not see me as a deficit nor 'special'. I was in safe company purely because they saw all of my strengths and positives 'and' knew I sometimes dysregulated.
I found a calming space, and instinct told me to take pictures. I noticed beautiful patterns and colours. Creativity burst into my head as a soothing distraction, and I knew I would edit the photos to create a Collage.
This is that Collage. It represents freedom to follow instinct, to make no apology for my big emotions. It represents self-respect and mutual respect. It is autonomy and safety.
The Neurodivergent Teacher shares lots about Children's regulation and I resonated with much of what she writes about. Yes, she creates strategies, but the bigger message, the greatest gift we give others, is understanding.
As I write, it is National NeuroDiversity Week, and I ask everyone to understand each other more because it is in caring and understanding each other that we find safety. My hope is that we all understand each other automatically and that we have environments that don't cause wobbles. Adjustments would not be a thing even because inclusively is everywhere and everyone has the same importance.
Until then, hugs for everyone's wobbles.
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