Lilipadding

Lilipadding is a new term. I find it so helpful to understand. Not easy. But it can help.

My own struggles with transitions and Monotropism are big.

My natural state is to be Monotropic. I'm Adhd AND Autistic and Monotropism might as well run through my veins. I have to be in a flow.

I have 3 parts of Monotropic transition that I struggle with.

If a Monotropic buzz has to end naturally because it's over, and if there's nothing naturally next known to me, then I'm not ok. I can't be without a flow. I'm suspended with all this Focus and Energy and nowhere for it to go. I'm really not ok. 10 minutes earlier I'm absolutely cool, Clients will see me functioning brilliantly and just like that, they exit and I'm lost.

So then I need to transition but this is where it goes wrong. Choosing or finding a flow is not how flow works. It chooses me. Me choosing requires my brain to focus. And if I'm not in a Flow, my brain isn't lit up enough to choose. Choosing is hard. Choosing is not a Flow in itself.

That was the 1st struggle-type.

2. If a Monotropic buzz is still flowing but I have to stop for another something that has to be prioritised, then yes I need help. Flow is strong and it needs help switching, and that help is mostly a Liliypadder. This is where Lilipadding works.

However if I'm on my own with no Lilipadder on hand, at the point of transition then I'm stuck.

Occasionally I can fling myself between things but that's not predictable nor reliable nor consistent. I can't rely on that working.

My 3rd struggle is that I am a high energy person and as such, being Monotropic, I will just keep going if I have no valid reason to stop. I have no stop button. I buzz away without realising I've done too much, (my Interoception is poor) so I run out of Spoons. I call this 'using spoons from my future'.

Cue, Burnout. Burnout is a constant threat for me and most Monotropics.

Lilipadding prevents me doing too much. Lilypadding helps me to pace my Monotropic flows. It's essential to my wellbeing because Burnout is damaging.

Lilipadding aside, understanding all this helps me work towards ways of managing the highs and lows.

Understanding all this reduces shame and do you know what shame does?

Shame pumps up old trauma and old wounds. Shame and trauma make everything worse and harder.

Guess what? Shame isolates.

If isolated we have less chance of having Lilipadding available to us.

So lets try to lose the shame. Lets try to share this knowledge and build safe connections and communities.

It's going to be ok for me. Mostly.

What about you? How are you doing?

Emergent Divergence: The neurodivergent ramblings of David Gray-Hammond Thank you and thank you Tanya Adkin.

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