I am blunt. I ask questions quickly. I go blank and get confused with lots of information.
I think that NeuroDivergent people are very misunderstood and misjudged and I would like to offer feedback from my own perspective about those three comments above.
I ask for information because my mind is moving so quickly. This can be helpful and great, but also unhelpful and clumsy. I ask questions because I need more data from you.
I may be trying to figure out if I'm wrong and I'm absolutely fine if I'm wrong. I just need to know the data but I can sound as if I'm disagreeing. I'm not, I just cannot continue 'any' processing without the next bit of data. I often want to believe you are right but I need the detail, the specifics, to accept that you are right. Others can sometimes argue back defensively.
From my perspective, I don't understand why you are defensive because I haven't attacked you. I may disagree once I have all the data but at this point, I'm just asking. Let's call that data gathering.
I'm blunt so if I'm disagreeing, I'll announce it, be assured 😂. You will know I'm disagreeing.
I'm not disagreeing at the data-gathering stage. I may get frustrated with you at the data-gathering stage not because I think you are wrong. I get frustrated because I genuinely do not know why you are emotional. This gets even more confusing because you don't declare how you feel. If you did, I would reassure you. Because I have lots of Empathy, actually.
Your defensive emotions get in the way of giving me the data I need to then process if I may be wrong. I am completely and utterly cool if I'm wrong. I love learning and processing so if I'm wrong I learn something. Win-win.
I may also be right. I won't be triumphant and glorified if I'm right. I'll be happy we know the outcome. I just need to know why.
This stuff is simple to me. I wish everyone communicated and shared data this simply.
I am aware that emotions are tricky. But just being clear and transparent and blunt is so helpful from my perspective.
If my way of processing is blunt and clear, then the alternative is disguise, half bits of data, defensiveness, games and utter chaos. I understand the chaos because pre ADHD diagnosis I masked, and unsure why others didn't communicate clearly. I would be shut down so I people please instead of thinking my Brain was somehow wrong.
I am much happier now, being NeuroDivergent and if this processing is because I'm NeuroDivergent then I'm grateful.
Picture of me in a park full of flowers. I'm hoping for warmer weather soon because it's cold outside. Photo credit: @julie Edwards. She will tell me off if I don't credit her.
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