Anyone disadvantaged (by their health or the system) knows everything we must do is harder. Mine is called the SEN tax.
This is financial, physical, and also emotional. It is the 'extra' we have to do to navigate systems and people.
We navigate systems that are not built for us; they create more work for us who are already disadvantaged/disabled/ill.
So not only do we have pain, not only do our energy levels reduce easily anyway, but on top of that, so much is harder.
I have Executive Function (EF) differences. They are just different. However, there are difficulties when something is easier for others than for me. Phone calls to follow up on things, paperwork to complete, people to educate. Humans to navigate. Discrimination to challenge, oppression to fight, and non-direct speaking to decipher.
My EF differences are mostly invisible. Therefore, it is easy for others to a) not understand why our differences can cause us difficulties and b) judge me for taking longer/being exhausted/getting it wrong.
So on top of having differences or disabilities or pain or exhaustion (or all of these), now you can pile on Judgement. Judgement from others who tell us we are too much, too slow, too quiet (when we retreat to recover).
On top of that, again, is the invalidation of our difficulties. To be told we are not different to you. To be told that everyone is a bit ADHD or everyone is a bit Autistic. This is invalidating. This tells us you think we are on an equal footing with the same differences.
Anyone who doesn't want to believe us won't.
I write these posts on good days. I have mostly good days because I have privileges and am self-employed. I am self-employed because I am privileged to be able to set my hours and manage the risk of self-employment. But I have difficult days too.
This post is for those who are struggling, feel invalidated, feel less than others, and still fear that others are right and that somehow we are weak or failing.
This post is to tell you I hear you. I see you. I understand, and I know how hard it can be.
I want to tell you to stop and rest when you need to or can. We hold each other up with the hope that one day, we will all be validated and valued and can create an environment and system suitable for all of us.
Because all of us matter. Every one of us.
That motivates the new wave of NeuroDivergent professionals to speak up and try to create that change so that we are all treated with the same respect and have the same chances to flourish and glow.
Lots of hugs.
Pic: my feet in front, background view of a beach near Lymington, UK, on a sunny morning.
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