Special Interests. Or not?

Originally published 24 August 2024 on NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook Page

I replied in an Autistic group, as I often do, about whether you can still be Autistic but have no special interests. This was my reply.

As a parent (younger and older, non stop since age 20) I didn't bl@@dy have time to deepen any interest.

So parenting became my special interest that moved with my childrens age.

Cloth nappies, child development, school types, parenting types, parenting as a subject to teach, family worker, youth worker and counsellor.

All whilst thinking I'm not academic, lots of imposter syndrome, hyper-focussing on my failings (RSD), huge ability to self reflect and lots of existentialist thoughts.

Of course I hyperfocus.

I'm just not a neatly packaged hobby kind of person.

So when asked if I have special interests, I used to answer no.

My Autism Assessor probed me and I shared how I ordered all my photos so that my children could always access photos and memories. I love taking photos.

And I am ferociously justiced and would have made an awesome lawyer if I'd believed in myself and if our education system wasn't so full of boring stuff and if it wasn't just a glorified test of memory to the extent that I had no faith in my ability to continue education after 16.

I did continue learning, both formal and informal. But academia never suited me. I tried to train as a counsellor in 1997, 2009 and eventually 2015.

My real life learning about people and my peopley jobs however has been non stop since 1986.

Special interests as a term is ableist, may require Privileges (time and money and autonomy) and when you have bouncy ADHD on top, flitting in between hobbies, well, you don't tend to specialise in 1 obvious nerdy subject.

Also fixing relationships isn't something you'd declare as a hobby on a CV is it .

And yet 2 ex hubbies afforded me LOTS of trying to find ways to repair marriages and solve those unsolvable conundrums.

Being a single parent a lot, meant I'd organise money in a way that was necessary but gave me pleasure. Actual Mugs of money in the cupboard (holiday, food, bills) then on line banking with different accounts for different things. It's glorious.

Then dating became a hyperfocus, I could write a book about relationships and dating and human behaviour. It'd be a comedy and some of my Friends know some very funny stories of mine, not to be shared publicly.

And nowadays, Autism and ADHD are my hyperfocus.

This one subject has had the chance to gain momentum because it's my career and it's my family and my friends too. And I'm at the stage of my life, the first time in my life, that I'm not a full-time parent of dependent children.

Although now I'm at the other end of life, Menopause. Oh joy, so I'm still kind of exhausted just with a different reason.

Oh and is being nosey a special interest? . I call it being curious.

Joking aside. If I didn't know about Autism, I'd still think I wasn't Autistic because I don't fit the predominant picture of someone who collects things nor am I an expert in anything.

That's what I'd believed Autistic people do.

Just remembered I collect heart shaped stones . And rocks .

No point to this ramble other than trying to explain that Hyperfocus and Special Interests can look very different in different people.

Over and out.

Stones lined up, some painted with flowers, as strawberries, and a grey stone with a white heart marking. Sat on a low wall, close to the floor against pebbles.