We are all a little bit Autistic / Adhd.

I had a morning of trying to be organised. Multitasking, thinking I was winning.

You know when we are told that all our problems are solved and we suddenly stop being Adhd if we just try harder and try a few tricks?

Well. I got some yoghurt prepared, I put in some chia seeds. To soak. In advance. Just before having a shower. Great.

No point putting contact lenses in before a shower right? And I don't need to find my glasses just for a quick 10 second bit of breakfast prep.

Guess who put brown lentils in their yoghurt instead of chia seeds?

Me.

Ffs.

Then today, I decided to wear a lovely new dress, on a day out with a mate.

That dress needed a push em up bra. I never wear push em up bras. I wear unwired, comfort only, stretchy, unglamarous, boulder holders.

I'm gloriously 56, Menopausal and at the 'I give no f#cks' stage of Life - my comfort always wins. 99% of the time.

I'm also Autistic. Comfort really really is Life.

So I chose a perky bra, forgetting why I don't wear them. Forgetting I'm Autistic.

Y'see, I'm that type of Autistic that is invalidated by Society because I'm late diagnosed and not seen as a proper Autistic. I look like I have everything sorted.

Except I am always Autistic.

I can't tell when my body hurts, even though I know I have poor interoception but also touch/pain hypersensitivity (you can be both hyper and hypo). My Autism is hidden from me even.

Anyhoodle, I flounced out of the house, happily, ignorantly, forgetting how underwired bras effect me.

My day out was very Autistic - a return visit to a manor house and gardens, hyperfocussed on nature, taking pictures (I'll catalogue them later) and walking around with no noise, very few people and a predictability I thrive on, with my also Autistic Bestie who loves the same.

I felt good, happy and filled with Dopamine about my £5 vinted dress (with pockets) and my rarely seen perky tittage.

Exvept that when I have arrived home, my awareness that I'm Autism kicked in.

I have shoulder and kneck tension, the start of a bad headache, fatigue and brain fog.

I have sensory overload and my mood has dropped. My eyes are blurred.

My Tits have tired me 🤣.

My Boobies have triggered a possible pain flare-up.

All because a fecking Bra with structure and wires held my Boosoms up high.

If my interoception was better I'd have noticed the pain during the day and whipped off the bra giving zero f'"cks.

But I didn't.

I now hurt.

I notice that my verbal communication and comprehension is compromised. My Processing speed is much slower.

Because of Boobs.

So meds now taken. Sleep needed. I'm not ok.

(Fri morning update: Tinnitus is raging).

So yes I have privileges. But I'm very much Autistic and my needs vary, they change, hour by hour.

If you see me in a good moment, then yes I don't seem Autistic.

That's the problem. You are making assumptions about me based on just 1 moment and not all of me and certainly not what goes on inside of me.

And yes my support needs are overall very much lower than they are for some.

But we are not all 'a little bit Adhd/Autistic'.

I am VERY Monotropic. I'm Audhd. Not everyone is.

I wish you'd believe us.

ffs.