What to do when I'm not ok.

Originally posted September 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page

I just read a comment on another page, asking what people do when heading to Burnout.

This was my answer.

Physical rest so a duvet day. I contract with clients from the outset that I have random Duvet Days (I'm a Counsellor).

This forewarning means I have less guilt, and less guilt tends to speed up recovery.

This also allows Clients to choose not to work with me from the outset if my needs do not match their needs.

I don't try to analyse why I'm not ok as that sends me into a monotropic spiralling headache so I trust my body is telling me I'm tired and accept it. (I problem solve reflectively afterwards).

Plus, my monotropic, big brain just does use up a lot of energy and so burnout/crash of some sort is inevitable I'm afraid. See Emergent Divergence: The neurodivergent ramblings of David Gray-Hammond for more info on this.

So once I sense it coming, I use my Crisis plan. (Crisis plan is just things I know, it's not a formal document, I'm not THAT organised).

My Crisis plan is what I've prepped beforehand so I just follow steps rather than have to figure what I need. Figuring what I need is not possible when I'm falling into burnout. Spoons depleted/depleting means I can't think there and then.

Crisis Plan: Box sets. Takeaways. Pain relief (interoception means I may not know I'm in pain so burnout is my body's way of alerting me). Nourishing snacks. Lots liquids. Cancel Plans.

Warn my nearest and dearest that I'm going into burnout. The will have been warned beforehand as part of my Crisis Plan. They are fab at telling me it's a normal cycle, we normalise it and validate that 'it's my turn'. This reduces shame and confusion. I only mostly know Autistic people, so we do take it in turns, we radically accept it. We also learn what each of us needs.

Forced (kind force) walks with nature.

Reassurance that others are happy and ok and I don't have to think about them (easier now kids are older).

I think we should have burnout drills. Like fire drills, to test out our burnout Crisis Plans.

What's in your Crisis Plan*?

(*I use the term crisis in a way to normalise recovery rather than disasterising it). I do not want to invalidate others' Big crisis.

Pic description: me, Jill, in the distance, amongst tall thin brown/green trees, sun shining through the whole picture from top left to bottom right.