Financial Eebie Jeebies.

Originally posted 11th October 2023 on my NeuroDiversity University Facebook page.

I think I have Trauma responses about money.

I grew up fairly poor but not neglected.

Financial security is a big need of mine.

Yet I also hate money. Or rather I hate the power divide where money is concerned. The inequality.

It is why I offer concession spaces and also why I plan to offer a higher fee for those that can offset the concessions. I earn a lot less than people expect me to earn (pacing, health restrictions, self care costs).

I really do trigger and have a nervous system reaction to either unnecessary money being spent, money running out and big or just unexpected, bills. I keep an eye on my finances. It kind of became a glimmer to see my personal finances super organised.

I am Autistic. I don't react well to any unplanned/unexpected 'something' at all.

But when it involves money, I feel properly stunned, I feel shock and like I want to vomit.

Anyone else?

I have learnt to recognise I'm having a big reaction and after a delay, I can regulate.

But damn, I hate money and damn I hate unexpectedness (is that a word even). And I f#cking hate inequality.

Over and out.

Pic id: electric fan, white metal, sat on my studio wood floor, fake Zebra print small rug to the right. Heating is an issue with high bills, am trying to figure different ways to reduce cost.