Slowly slowly

Jill Holly
Apr 14
2 min read

I did have a community group set up. Then cancelled it.

And I'm going with instinct, in that the time is not right. Not right now.

I want this, I really want this, but I can't fully attach and until I can, I'm not doing it.

I've shared here before that I have blocks about it and I'm not asking for advice so please do not give any. This isn't about confidence or self esteem.

I'm sharing so folk can embrace their own zig zag way of doing things.

Because what I have, dear readers, is a battle between enthusiasm and intuition.

Enthusiasm is that excitable, funny, awesome part of me that loves creativity and freedom and community.

And it is in opposition with my sensible, intuitive part that tells me gently, 'not quite yet my Love'.

There is a lot going on. Family stuff, menopause and some difficult worky stuff.

Work is more than the time I sit face to face with Clients. It's a heart-heavy job at times.

And my Elders need me. And I need them. We have some tough times ahead and I need to be ready to love and look after them, as they have loved and looked after me.

So I'm having to be practical and only book things that are cancellable (is that a word?).

My excitement wants to get going, it's young and full of ideas and energy for groups and Community and fun things.

But I know I need to be patient.

It's why I get irritated when offered advice.

I trust myself. I just happen to also be changeable. I also have wisdom and experience behind me to help me figure it.

I also have a good support network. I'm lucky.

I still have to tame this big part of me though, it is like a petulant, eager, smiling Child raring to go, go, go .

But intuition wins (Reiki is absolutely bringing out more of my intuition).

So slowly I go.

Proper slow.

So slow it's a no.

Just for now.