Happy AND awkward.

Originally published on 13th April 2024 on NeuroDiversity University FaceBook Page

This is the face of someone who has been gardening and moving stuff on a happy Saturday and the sun is shining.

Those that know me, and some strangers, will see me as chirpy and happy and bubbly and I am. I am those things.

But only within certain circumstances. I am Autistic and Adhd. I do eye contact. I'm a sociable extrovert. You may think those things don't go together.

This is where you need to understand all the nuances about my brain type. My way of being has to fit what naturally motivates me. Intrinsic, purpose driven, authentic, moment by moment connections, instructions, actions, moods and priorities. Real stuff. Only the real stuff.

Let me explain.

I've driven to the Refuse Centre to throw some rubbish. I have adrenalin in me, the countryside around me makes me tingle. At the Centre, as I've finished, I bump into someone I loosely knew in an old job. I've had lots of jobs. We both smile, genuinely and enthusiastically. From the bottom of my big heart I am happy I've seen them. They are a lovely, happy person. And I'm fecking grateful that we were not able to linger longer than the time it took to shout 'hello'. Because I don't want the next bit. The next bit is weird. It's the bit where most folk do polite talk. Blah blah blah.

I've seen those memes where some people do deep and personal and weird and wonky.

That's me. That's the bit I like. I am VERY sociable with that bit.

Neurodivergents often do extremes:

Hypo unable to feel any senses. OR ALL the Hyper senses. I do BOTH.

Slug, paralysed OR crazy productive. I do BOTH.

Over explaining OR Direct/stunted. I do BOTH.

Happy and buzzy OR really Akward. I do BOTH.

Truth OR mute. I do BOTH.

So please. Please. Spare me the politeness.

I. Do. Real.

If you bump into me, genuinely wave and smile and hug and know that we both really really ARE genuinely buzzed and happy to bump into each other.

Then go deep or f#ck the f#ck off.

Love from Me, an Autistic and ADHD (Attention and Hyper Sensitive) Counsellor / Psychotherapist.

Pic description: white woman, me, headshot, blonde messy short hair. Looking at the camera squinting, sweaty.