Swimming against the Tide

Originally published 2nd January 2024 on NeuroDiversity University Blog FaceBook page

As folk are returning to work and school, that yuk fearful feeling can descend.

I love my job, but being back in work mode means I have to start working against my neurotype.

What do I mean?

My brain does not naturally stay focussed and alert on boring (to me) stuff.

People (clients) are never boring.

But diary management, time management, and note taking, sorting payment, is like forcing myself to walk into a storm. It's an Executive Function marathon for me.

I know I'm about to be blown over and will need to work double hard. On the boring stuff.

It takes a lot of energy and I make mistakes. I double book or forget things.

Yes I have admin support and it helps a lot but they aren't by my side 24/7.

So what happens when I have that dark tummy feeling about having to be organised again?

I give myself self compassion. The yuk feeling is understandable. It matches the fact I'm about to perform. The nerves are justifiable.

The yuk feeling needs several *things:

Recognising.

Sharing (with a safe person).

Validating (it is real).

Compassion (life isn't fair).

Honesty (mistakes do happen).

Then Regulation.

There are exercises and tricks I choose to try to help me quieten or calm the yuk (look up Regulation on my main page).

But I want to make something clear.

I do all this from a place of Self Love. Not Self Hate.

Yes my Executive Function can be shite. But the things that are good about me are still good.

And that Radical Acceptance is key. My difficulty with Exec function tasks is not all of me, it does not define me.

Acceptance allows me to get help without (mostly) shame.

Shame does visit me but normally when the people around me don't understand me or if they judge me out of 'their' ignorance about my Brain-type.

And.

Jumping straight to Strategies doesn't work for me. I have to have a little conversation with myself first and apply that list above (*).

Then I can regulate.

Hugs all.

Being Autistic and or ADHD isn't easy.

Broughton Castle grounds, Oxfordshire, UK. Path in centre, flooded fields either side, grey skies, trees in the distance.